4 Surprising Culture Shocks From My Move To Palermo Italy

Today, we’ll share four surprising cultural differences you might encounter when moving to Italy. Get ready to discover some unique customs and traditions that set Italy apart.

Moving to Italy, especially to a vibrant city like Palermo, can be an exciting adventure, but it is also essential to be prepared for cultural differences.

▶️ Here are four things that surprised us when we moved to the Province of Palermo:

👉 Identity Crisis or Losing Your Maiden Name: In Italy, it’s common for married women to keep their maiden names. This was a significant change for us, as we were used to adopting the husband’s surname upon marriage.

It took some getting used to to use the maiden name for everything from passport to ID card and bank accounts.

👉 The Importance of Community and Social Interaction: Italians are known for their strong sense of community and social interaction. Be prepared for frequent conversations with neighbors, shopkeepers, and strangers on the street.

While this can be overwhelming at first, it’s also a refreshing change from the more private culture of many Western countries.

👉 The Extended Family: Family is a central part of life in Italy. The concept of family extends beyond immediate relatives to include grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and distant relatives.

Family gatherings are frequent and important events, and strong family bonds are valued.

👉 Environmental Differences: Italy, especially Palermo, has a unique environment that may require adjustment. Street traffic, barking dogs, fireworks, and street vendors can raise noise levels.

Additionally, the weather can be hot and humid, and air conditioning is less common than in some other countries.

Understanding and embracing these cultural nuances can make your experience in Italy even more rewarding and fulfilling.

Whether planning a vacation or considering a permanent move, Italy offers a unique and unforgettable experience.

Video Transcript

Get ready for some culture shocks. Whether you’re planning a trip to Italy or just curious about the Italian way of life, this video is definitely for you. Nobody likes being caught off guard with unrealistic expectations, so let’s go ahead and dive right in.

Lost Identity

What if I told you that I literally lost my identity when I moved to Italy? Croce, how long have we been married? 43 years. And in Italy the system is that each lady that’s married goes by her maiden name.

So on my two passports, of course, my U.S. passport, that we just renewed, has my full name. I took your last name, Amato, when we got married.

My Italian passport, my Italian identity does not recognize my marriage. It is my maiden name.

My codici fiscale is in my maiden name. My identification card is in my maiden name. My national health card is in my maiden name. Even my voter registration paper is in my maiden name.

And it took so much to get used to that. I remember signing Carol Amato for so many things and having to scratch it out or redo the paper at the offices. I would be in queue, and they would call my maiden name, and I wouldn’t even hear it.

It was so different and foreign to me. But I know on Facebook all of my relatives, my sisters-in-law and my nieces, they all have their maiden names and none of them have taken their husband’s last name. So it’s just a cultural difference. You have to get used to it, but boy, it took me a while to get used to that. Yes.

Communication Fatigue

Communication fatigue. In the U.S., we live our lives much more closed off and private than we ever did in Sicily, right? Yes, absolutely. Yeah, we really do.

Now, I love people. I’m not an introvert. I’m really very friendly. I can go to a grocery store here in Texas and make a friend in the line. It’s not hard for me to talk to people.

However, it is a huge adjustment for me, at least. I know you grew up this way, so this is basically my culture shocks. In Italy, there’s a very strong sense of community and so you feel that warmth. You really do.

Everybody wants to connect. Everybody wants to know who belongs to whom and what family and all of that.

So even when you’re hanging laundry outside and a neighbor comes to roll their trash out, you always say hello and usually it’s a quick chat, right? It’s not just turn your face and ignore them, usually like in the United States.

I mean, that’s not everyone, but it’s mostly the case. Even in the shops and stores and professional offices, people will talk and chat and people take time to visit in Sicily. It’s so refreshing.

It really is fun, but sometimes it can be a little overwhelming when you’re not used to talking so much. Visits last longer. People come for coffee. You go for coffee and it’s not just a 15-20 minutes, half an hour. It’s usually two hours.

Family & Social Structure

Family. Yes, let’s talk about family and social structure.

In the U.S., when you get married, the couple, the husband and the wife, that’s a family. And if they have kids or they don’t have kids, they’re the family unit.

And of course, they respect their mom and dad. They have sisters, brothers, whatever and they get together for holidays and they take care of each other and a lot of families have close relationships here in the United States.

However, in Sicily, it is very close-knit, very extended, and they don’t think of themselves as a family unit, a husband and wife. The family unit is mom and dad, grandpa, grandma, brother, sister, cousin. Yes, everybody.

So, well actually, the immediate family in Sicily would be husband, wife, mothers, fathers on both sides and siblings (and grandparents) – not necessarily cousins or aunts and uncles, right?

For holidays, yes, but as far as helping someone or if someone’s in distress, helping them, the immediate family would be, that’s at least our experience in your family, right?

The extended family is the first mentality. Family is the cornerstone of Sicilian society and gatherings often include extended family members and Sundays, in particular, are often dedicated to big family lunches.

Social life often revolves around family obligations and the concept of individualism is less prominent than in the U.S.

Traditional gender roles are more common in Sicily than in many parts of the U.S., though this is slowly changing with the younger generations, wouldn’t you think? Yes, definitely.

Work-life balance. Italians tend to prioritize family and personal time over work and there’s a strong focus on maintaining a good work-life balance.

Yes. Long vacations, especially during August, Ferragosto, is when much of the country shuts down and these are normal. Right.

This took me a long time to get used to. This is very foreign to me. Now, I’m the baby of seven kids, so I come from a big family, and I thought our family was close. My aunts and uncles and cousins, we took vacations together.

But this inner circle of the Sicilian family is extremely close-knit, and they feel an obligation and a loyalty to one another. It’s something that I love and cherish, and I think it’s wonderful.

Environmental Differences

Let’s talk about the environmental differences. Sometimes it’s noisy. Yes, it can be. Yes. It really can be.

There are a lot of things that contribute to that, and it took me a while to get used to. Where we live in Carini, there were dogs outside. They don’t keep them inside.

There are smaller dogs, like little lap dogs that they go around in the mall in their cart, and they’re little babies, but they keep those indoors. But a lot of people have big dogs that they keep outside and boy, they bark and roosters crow.

So depending on where you live, if you’re in the city, of course, that may not happen, but if you’re anywhere in a rural or neighborhood, that probably will happen.

Then there are festivals and holidays and occasions, weddings, and all kind of fun things where people will light off firecrackers and fireworks and all kind of fun celebrations, which can get pretty loud and that happens quite often.

And then daily there are cars going up and down, vans going up and down the byways and highways and streets and alleyways selling things, fruit for sale or fish for sale.

Or even the bakery van delivers and honks the horn at the neighbor’s house. She orders her bread and the bakery actually home delivers the bread, which is wonderful.

But there’s a lot of different noises that you just have to get accustomed to.

Now, a lot of people don’t have air conditioning. Now we won’t live in a place without it because we’re spoiled.

But if you keep your windows open on those days that are hot, it’s going to be worse. With the windows closed, it’s fine. But if you live in a city or in a town or even in a rural area, it can be a lot louder than the United States.

It does take time to get used to these things, but instead of rigidly opposing anything unfamiliar, it’s time to embrace this beautiful way of living and get out of our private little bubbles and be part of a vibrant community, adjusting to your new identity, community, sense of family obligation and loyalty.

And then the community and then the environment, atmosphere in Italy can be a bit daunting at first, but rest assured that you will come to enjoy each aspect of these important parts of life. And you will be glad for the rich, cultural adventure. Right.

And in order to be part of the community, you are definitely going to need to learn Italian. So check out the worst and best ways to learn Italian. And be sure to share your thoughts below in the comments.

Thanks for watching. Thank you. Arrivederci.